I Who Have Never Known Men — A review

Right on New Year’s Day I finished my first book of 2025! It was a wonderful read and was equal parts heartbreaking as it was interesting. I Who Have Never Known Men is an amazing book I recommend you should go read (if you haven’t already) and before you do check out my review to see if it tickles your fancy. Please keep in mind beyond the highlighted portion there will be spoilers as I’ll discuss important aspects of the theme.

I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman

4/5 stars

  My review: I personally rate this book four out of five stars due to it being wonderfully written, although this book is translated from French I find that the English translation was lovely and I can only imagine how much more beautiful this book is in its native language. Along with it being beautifully written, I find that the plot was equally as marvelous. Although I find this book to be wonderful it surprised me to find that many found the plot of this book disappointing, especially towards the ending. This book delves into themes of girlhood and friendship which I found touching throughout the story, human nature and the innate traits that come with being human even if you’re stripped of all things that many believe are necessary to human existence, and also loneliness, with the book being set in a futuristic, end of days-like planet. 

SPOILERS AHEAD

This book was completely gut wrenching and had me staring at a wall for a good fifteen minutes after finishing it for the first time. It’s become almost ritualistic for me to search and scour the internet for various opinions and theories on books I’ve just finished. What I found most interesting however, is how many people were dissatisfied by this book, more specifically in its ending. Although yes, it didn’t necessarily give answers I feel that this is what made the book so beautiful. 

Beginning with themes; as discussed in the review portion, this novel delves into themes of girlhood, that even when deprived of nearly all things that make one human, girls will share their secrets, keep them safe from others, giggle and gossip, all things that I find beautiful aspects of girlhood especially in one’s youth, yet also an aspect that transcends through one’s journey of girlhood to womanhood. Although, I personally cannot speak on womanhood (yet) I can assume and hope that even as I grow older, I’ll continue to keep my girl friends, the giggling and gossiping remaining the same with only the topics at hand maturing with time. Other topics the book explores are behaviors that are innate to being human, for example physical touch. The mystery that shrouds the whole story is far from ever being answered completely, with odd rules in place like the women not being able to touch each other, they must all sleep at the same time, there are no clothes, they cannot speak with the guards, or rather the guards will not speak to them, and there are no toilets. The narrator, growing up in this strange environment has grown accustomed to these rules as they’re all she’s ever known. An interesting part of the story I find, is when she becomes inconsolable due to the lack of communication and answers from the guards,  at one point while another older woman attempts to urge her to sleep, and follow the rules “something strange” happens to her, she wanted to feel the older woman’s arms around her and to the narrator, this feeling was “so sudden, so unexpected, that [she] was overcome.” (Harpman 30) I find this moment so important in the story and so beautiful as well, the narrator’s lack of what being “truly human” would be like in a regular society is displayed through her lack of knowledge on human feelings and wants like physical touch, I think that this as well just displays how there are certain traits of being a human that will never go away even when everything else is. Within this book there are various examples of innovation and hardworking-ness in women being a major focus, which I love! I found this book to be super heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. Loneliness also plays a large factor within the book, our narrator being for one, the youngest and the only person who hasn’t experienced a normal life is always somewhat isolated from the group. Unable to relate or connect with the other women. To a lesser extent I find that this loneliness is also relatable to me and how I’ve felt throughout my fifteen years of life. All in all, this book was a wonderful read that I thoroughly enjoyed. 

To reel it back to what I previously mentioned on many opinions on this book especially in regards to it's ending. I found that the ending was actually quite fitting, for those who haven't read but don't mind spoilers. At the end, our narrator passes away alone, with no knowledge of where she is, why she is here on this unfamiliar planet, and how she is there. While our narrator has no answers, so do we. To many, this was dissatisfying as it left us to theorize and guess and what may have occurred. However, this story from the girl's perspective was written down, an important detail at the end being that her story will only be told if it is found. When I read that line I had immediately assumed that that had to mean somebody had found her story, yet many online were still unsatisfied with this ending. While it was very open ended, and to many this is up to their tastes specifically, I thought the ending was beautiful and well executed, in my opinion giving answers to this book would've taken away from its appeal and beauty, but, what are your opinions on the ending? Or, other theories within the book?